Last night I went out with a few friends to a bar that was selling $1 beers. Thats right. $1. for a pot of beer. Mix in some really good company and some, well, interesting characters, and it leads to a great night. The bar had a concrete floor riddled with millions of past experiences.
ie stains. It was a slippery floor rather than a sticky one, which is ok in my book. Id much prefer slippery than sticky. and I am loving the no smoking in bars. I must say, its probably been over a year now, but to my amazement im still really excited that the cancer sticks can only be lit up outside.
Good rule society.
Now onto the selfishness. (EDIT: Is that selfish of me only thinking about the non-smoking patrons? uh-oh, i think this blog just tipped past hypocritical. oh well, onwards we go)
Sitting on a swanky red faux leather couch last night, having a great conversation with my mate, I was taking it all in. People-watching my ex used to call it. and it really is fun.
Watching the lonesome backpacker from Sydney who's been in melbourne for 6 weeks, with his satchel slung over his shoulder like its his only current possesion, Id spoken to him earlier on. After overhearing 2 girls speaking to him in a typical groupie fashion- "oh my god i love youuuu!! youre the best!!! i so saw you like play when i was in sydney and u were like so awesome on stage." - I made a comment as he was standing next to me. I was testing the waters you could say, for some reason I just like evoking emotions in people. Standing there with his hands on his prized satchel, it sent thoughts wondering through my mind, what on earth would he bring into a place like this that he couldnt leave at home. I half expected a fold out comfort guitar to be packed away in there, but it was probably a book of lyrics, or photos of family and girlfriend or the like.
I said "heyyyyyyy you're a musician arent you? Ive seen you play somehwere before". Instantly I got what i was looking for. The excitement in this little man's eyes was immense. Id invoked a feeling of recognition that would make him feel like all of his dingy little pub gigs and struggleville of being a budding musician had actually been worthwhile. Im not saying it isnt, but i instead gave him a false hope that he was recognisable, or at least his music was.
The key point here is that only I know it as a false hope.
To him, that hope and recognition is as real to him as the rock hard concrete floor he was standing on. It is a veil of reality.
By just making a comment like that, this tiny little man, Jack, feels excited and happy that in a pub far away from his home, its not only the groupie girls who know of him. I left it with "maybe Ill come up and see you play again one day mate, you were pretty good."
and that was that.
I had gone on an emotion invoking journey by delving into this short and sharp conversation with Jack. and just by having that conversation, I feel like I had done a good deed for the day. but through no advantage to myself. I find myself doing things like this more and more and more.
And sitting on the faux leather couch, people-watching, taking in as much as I could visually, I noticed a tall blonde walking over towards my mate and I. For some reason she was handing him a beer. and I leant in and told her that her shoes were amazing. because they were. She wasn't the most stunning girl Ive ever seen, and boy did my mates let me know about her "cavewoman" ruffled hair (which I found quite attractive) after she had sat in my lap and I pashed her for a few seconds. But when she got up and walked away, that happiness and excitement was visible in her eyes too. She was smiling more now. It was fun for me too. I certainly enjoyed it.
It irks me that someone (ney one specific friend) can continue on about her less than appealing aesthetics (in their opinion) and joke about how if I hadntve had the Beer-Goggs on I wouldnt have done that. Which leads me to this. Is there any need for this kind of negativity in my world? I say no to that.
A joke in good humour about a random hookup in a dark bar with $1 pots will put a smile on my face any day, even if it is on me.
Has this person really thought about the deeper implications of his everyday activities and interactions. thought about being consciously unselfish? Thought that maybe a random kiss between two people is a result of an unselfish comment made for no material benefit whatsoever. purely for the fact that I like making people feel good about themselves.
So what are the conclusions of my analysis?
It all leads me to the question, what if everybody did this? was unselfish, delibritely? How much better would our society be if everyone made a point to make one unselfish act, that would lead to a favourable outcome for the other party only? (and in some cases unexpected fun rewards come out of it, even if she was only ok looking :p)
In my recent journey into unselfishness Ive found that there are a lot of people who, through no fault of their own, are selfish. Not selfish as in making a conscious decision to be, but due to the fact that everyone starts at selfish. The bottom rung of the ladder is selfishness, and somehow the never-ending finish is total unselfishness. Effort needs to be made to start the journey. All im saying, is that I think the majority of people havent started that journey for a whole variety of reasons, especially because they haven't consciously thought about it. Which isnt necessarily a bad thing, because im sure if you alerted a lot of people to this topic, they WOULD put in the effort and decide to try it.
I dont know if I over-analyse things like this or not. And you may have read this and completely think I am insane. If Jack had to read this, I wonder what he would think?
but take this with you: If youve never thought about it before, try doing an unselfish thing for someone deliberately today. and tomorrow. Start with Family. and Friends. cos they're the most important ones. and then try it on strangers. Get off the bottom rung of the ladder.
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